The widow of Anatole Broyard, who reviewed books for the New York Times for many years and died in 1990, writes here about her life with him, the staggering blow of his death, and the difficulty of going on alone. Blessed with a loving family and many friends, Sandy Broyard has been able to endure, but her evocation of the anguish she has undergone--and which does not dissipate--is deeply felt, as is her fierce desire to continue living, and to start over with a new love, if possible. Copyright (C) Muze Inc. 2005. For personal use only. All rights reserved.